Christians found in Outer Darkness by Sister Liyan

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I recently have had frequent supernatural experiences with God. Let me begin with sharing what I experienced in the past few years.

Since 1996, I have known the Lord, and have been experiencing His truthfulness. I grew up in a Christian family, and believed in Jesus Christ, but did not truly know Him. Belief in Jesus is different from knowing Jesus. In 1 Samuel 3:7, regardless of growing up in the Temple, Samuel did not actually know the Lord. His knowledge of the Lord became real to him after the Lord had revealed Himself to Samuel. Like Samuel’s situation, I, too, did not know the Lord until 1996 when I was 16 years of age.

Since I was a child, I had poor health, unlike my mother and sister. My mother is an ambitious lady both at home and in the workplace. She was often angry with me, due to my consistent sickness, and could not understand why I was so frequently sick, while my sister, on the other hand, was healthy. At home I could not help with any chores, even cooking, because I would often fall unconscious. The doctors could not diagnose my sickness until I had a CT scan, which showed that I had chronic gastritis, sinusitis, and periostitis. However, even after I had been diagnosed with these diseases, the doctors were unable to cure me. These diseases inhibited my ability to help around the house, so my mother treated me in a very cold manner, which caused my life to become more painful.

When I was 16 years old, I was still unable to help with household chores, so my mother often threatened me. She would say, "If you are going to die, you might as well die earlier to save everyone trouble. Look at yourself. You mean nothing to this world, you are unable to end your life or live a good life. What should we do for you?” I had no solution for myself either. Since that time, I began to pray to God: "Dear God, if you are real, would you please help me to end my life on this earth?” I had repeatedly sought to commit suicide – in ways such as hanging, poison and jumping off a tall building – but every time the thought of death terrified me. I would think to myself, “What if my suicide fails?” I knew if this happened, the situation would worsen, I would suffer to an even greater extent. Thus, I did not commit suicide. Later, I remembered what the Bible said, “If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple.” [1 Cor 3:17] which means suicide victims cannot be saved.

On June 1st, I did not make any particular prayer, but merely said to God, "God, if you are real, please end my life. Lord, please receive my spirit." When my mother left for work at 3:30 pm, I knelt down and started to continually pray at my bedside. Suddenly my spirit left my body and I saw my physical body still praying at the bedside suddenly fall down. My spirit started to linger around here and there. At that time, I was not afraid, instead, I had felt relieved and relaxed because I did not have any pains or headaches. At this time, I understood what the Bible says, that the Spirit gives life and that the flesh is useless. [John 6:63] I did not miss my physical body and it felt wonderful to finally be able to leave my sickly body.

When my spirit left my body, I thought I was sure I was going to heaven because I thought that those who believed in Jesus were guaranteed to go to heaven after physical death. I also believed that the path to heaven was merely upwards and that the path to Hell was merely downwards. My spirit flew out the window and continued to rise up towards the sky. Wow, it was marvelous! I was heading up to heaven! I did not miss my family at all, not at all.

Outer Darkness

Then, my spirit went to a dark place. The darkness in that place is different from earthly darkness. That darkness will shock your spirit that you will not be able to see your hands even if you placed them in front of you. I was positive this was not heaven, even though I have never been there. I knew heaven is not supposed to be dark, it should be a place full of light. I thought, “Oh, no!” Does this mean this place is Hell? I could not determine the location of the place because when I was little I heard Hell is a place full of fire and sulfur; but here there was no fire, only darkness. I said, "What kind of place is this?" I heard a lot of people crying, [Matt 25:30] but I cannot tell where they were. Suddenly, I heard a voice that repeated, "You go forward, you go forward.”

I walked in the darkness and as I continued walking, the cries of the people got near enough that I should have been able to see them face to face, but I still could not see anything. At that time, I recognized the sound of iron chains, and heard a lock being opened. Suddenly a door opened, and the room was slightly brighter inside. I saw a great number of people, and when I think about it they were all Christians. The first thought that came to me was that Christianity was a lie, for those Christians did not go to heaven at all; they went to darkness, and this place was filled with Christians. How come they were all here? Some were Christian women from my village who had already passed away that I knew very well, but they all ended up in this place. Then a voice said to me: "Go inside." I replied, "Definitely not! I will never enter into this place." I knew that once I entered, I will join the crowd of crying, dead people. People in there were continuously yelling and crying and all of their clothes were grey and tattered. At that time, there was an unknown force that pushed me in, but my hand remained clinging to the door, and I refused to enter the room, so I knelt down and cried loudly, “Lord, I will never seek to commit suicide anymore, please return life to me and allow me to live. If I am going to this place, I might as well live several more years on earth with the sickness. Why should I come here? Oh, no!” by that time I had a question mark constantly pondering in my heart, as I thought there were no such places of heaven and Hell; all was a lie. Those who seemed to believe in Jesus on earth all ended up here. I constantly though – there was no such thing as Heaven or Hell.

I asked: "What is this place?" Suddenly a voice said to me: "This is a place of wailing and gnashing of teeth.” I could hear someone speaking but I could not see this person. I continued to ask, "What? This is the place of wailing and gnashing of teeth? How come all these people here are Christians?" He said, "These people believed in Jesus without repentance." I replied, "Then, how about the nonbelievers?" He said, “The nonbelievers go directly to Hell." Then suddenly I found myself going directly to Hell.

Hell

The horrible place where nonbelievers are cannot compare to the place where those who believe Jesus without repentance are. I heard the people in Hell crying terribly in great pain. Everybody there shouted two words: "So Hot! So Thirsty!" I saw fire burning inside their bodies; every time the fire burned in their body, the person would scream. Surprisingly, worms that would not burn up, continued to drill and crawl in and out the people’s bones. Each time it would inflict great pain upon the person.

Having one’s spirit tortured is worse than the physical body being tortured.  When I realized this, I said to myself, “It is much better to believe in Jesus without repentance than not believing in Jesus and directly going to Hell,” when you take into account the place of weeping and gnashing of teeth, which is better than the Hell.

Heaven

I thought, does Heaven actually exist? The moment this question crossed my mind, I felt my spirit going up to Heaven. Wow! It was so beautiful; the beauty of Heaven was unbelievable. I saw flowing water, grass, mountains, and flowers.  The streets that were much more beautiful than the man made streets on Earth. The mountains were made of precious stones, the water looked like pearl and onyx crystals, the streets were paved with pure gold, and the walls were built with jasper, ruby, sapphire, and emerald. I was stunned by its beauty! I said to myself, "I am not leaving! I desire to stay in a place like this." Suddenly an angel came and spoke to me, "According to the level of your faith, you belong to the place of weeping and gnashing of teeth. You may not enter into this place." I demanded, "I am not leaving." Then the angel said, "No! You must leave." I replied, "Do I have to suffer the pain from my sickness on Earth again?" He said, "If you are not willing go back to Earth, then your only other option is to stay in the place of weeping and gnashing of teeth." I said, "If my only other option is to stay in that dark place, then I would rather return to my sick body on Earth and suffer from the disease." I chose to return to Earth.  The next second my spirit returned home.

My spirit left my physical body around 4:10 pm, and it was 10:30 at night when my spirit returned home. My mother’s working hours were from 4:00 pm until midnight. By now, both my sister and brother had fallen asleep; my unconscious body was lying down, kneeling in a praying position to the edge of the bed. So sad! They didn’t even care if I had dinner or not, which was how I have been ignored by my family members. I thought to myself, “My sister! Your elder sister, just beside you, has died and you do not even care. You just went to bed and fell asleep?" My spirit continued to linger and walk around the house, without the sickness, my spirit was able to be comfortable. I was very reluctant to return to my sick body because I knew that once I entered it, I would be afflicted with pain again; but, if I am not willing to enter the body, I will return to the place of weeping and gnashing of teeth, so I knew that it was better to be in my body after I had witnessed the struggles in that place.

My spirit went back into my physical body; I sighed and then woke up, but my whole body lacked feeling. I discovered streams of tears all over my face. After waiting for about ten minutes, my feet began to feel a little numb. When the spirit left my body, the blood had ceased to flow for the entire time I was gone. I started to moved slightly and fell off the bed; tears were flowing down my cheeks. I felt so grateful and I said, "Lord, I thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me come back to this earth." When my spirit came back, God gave me a few words. He said, "Child, go back. You have only a little bit of time left. Soon you will be coming to this place I have prepared for my people. When you go back, you must share what you have just experienced.” When I received His word saying “you have a little time left” I thought it will be only a few days, I felt that He would come back very soon. I replied "Oh! Sure! As long as you let me go back to heaven, I will share my experience I had.”

At the time when I received the message I thought that he would come back within a few days, and that I would see Him in Heaven again; thus, I did not expect that I would get married and have my own children. Upon my return to Earth, I was filled with God’s love and had begun to preach the gospel. I started with the nonbelievers because the believers did not take my story seriously when I shared my experiences with them. The first person I had shared with was my own mother. At that time, we were both home and I was jumping with excitement. When my mother came home from work at twelve o’ clock, I told her, "Mom, I just died, and my spirit left my body." She said, "Have you have spent your whole day like this, in this mindset? You are not normal, you are crazy!" I thought that if even my mother would not believe me, who else would ever believe me? I remember sharing my testimony to a close sister at church. She quickly responded, "Liyan! There is definitely something wrong with you, that’s not possible! I don’t believe it." Thus, I stopped sharing my story to fellow believers.

When I shared my experience to the nonbelievers, one by one they all came to believe in Jesus. When I shared my supernatural experience to others on the train, many people made the decision to surrender their lives to the Lord. Praise the Lord! I knew this was God's doing. However, I have never been to school and consider myself illiterate. I told God, "You are going to use me; but, I am illiterate." One time I listened to a sermon about the resurrection of Lazarus, who was dead and buried for four days causing a stench in his burial. But when Jesus said simply one word, he came back to life. [John 11:43] I was touched by the story and said to myself, "If Lazarus had been dead for four days, buried and even reeked with an awful smell and still came back to life, what if the Lord wanted me to learn how to read? It should be much easier than that." Since that moment, I had a great desire to learn how to read. As a result, my prayers became much longer, every night I would pray until one or two o'clock in the morning.

I remember at two o'clock in the morning on the twelfth lunar month, after I had finished my prayer, I went to bed and started having dreams. Suddenly, I saw a man wearing a white garment who was extremely bright; it was a brightness that I have never seen on the Earth. He stood by my window and called to me, "Child, come to me." His face was as luminous as the sun, and I could not see it clearly. He then took me out of my blanket and embraced me as if I was a baby. He said, "From today on I will teach you how to read." I replied, "Wow! Great! I am so excited, where should I begin?" "We will start from the Gospel of John." He opened the Bible to the John 21:15, and began to read, "When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?' Peter said, 'O Lord, you know I love you.' Jesus said to him 'Feed my lambs'” As we continued the reading, Peter’s name had changed to my name; however, at that time I did not even recognize my name in the reading and the Lord continued to teach me how to read. He said, “Liyan, do you love me more than these?” I asked, “What are you referring to?" Then he said, "I am referring to the material world, do you love me more than these?" I said, "Lord, you know I love you.” We continued to read until dawn.

At dawn, I woke up and found out that I continued the reading and found myself still in bed. I quickly picked up the Bible and flipped it to John 21:15. I said, "Oh! This is the Book of John." But I was afraid to make a mistake, because at the time, my father, younger sister and brother were all present. I said to my younger sister and brother, "Hey, come over here. Today I am going to read some verses from the Bible to you.” they said, "Go ahead; read it.” “Book of John, right?" I asked. They all looked at me and said, "Right, right. You guessed it right." I said, "I will read some more. They had finished breakfast; Jesus said to Simon Peter, son of John, do you love me more than these?" They were very shocked and said, "Sister, how did you learn how to read these words?" I responded, "What I am more concerned about is if I had read the words correctly." They said, "Yes, yes, every word. You’ve read those words correctly!”

Gradually, I began to recognize each word in the Bible; however, I could not recognize the words in books other than the Bible, even spiritual books teaching the Book of John. The words just looked familiar, but I could not understand the words. As a result, for several years God continued to teach me how to study the Bible, which became my spiritual living water, and I studied very hard. My reading speed was slow, sometimes it took me several days to just finish one verse, but I received a lot of revelations from the Holy Spirit. Every day I routinely meditated, prayed and read, so my life became spiritually abundant. That is how I built up my relationship with Jesus Christ. Then, I attended a church and worked for the Lord for two years. It was a fruitful experience and it helped me and other brothers and sisters with our spiritual lives. But the Lord was not pleased with my work in those two years. Thus, neither the spiritual gifts nor supernatural experiences reflected my spiritual life. Like Paul said, "lest after preaching to others I myself should be a castaway.” [1 Cor. 9:27] It was the year of 2004 when I partnered with a pastor to start a church in my own home.  We though we did a good job. On the second day of 2006, God began to reveal something that would happen on the following day to me, and the things really did happen. On the third day when I was about to go to sleep, the Lord told me, "Tomorrow morning, someone will ask you go to pray for his grandmother, and you must go." The fourth day I started to wait at home from 8 am until 10 am, when a man showed up. I was surprised to see that the man looked exactly like the one I saw in the dream, so I went with him to pray for his grandmother.

On the fifth day, I was surprised by another sudden revelation from a dream. God said, "I am returning and you must repent!" I was shocked and replied, "You are coming back and I need to repent? How about the pastor who is partnering with me? " He said "He has nothing to do with you. I am coming back, and you need to repent!" I thought, "What must I repent for? I have been busy nurturing this church, so why do I need to repent?” He said, "Follow Me, I would like to show you a place."

The HEART

In just a twinkle of an eye, I arrived at a house where the walls and floors were very dirty. They were filthy to a point that it was impossible to go in. I asked “What is this place? Why it is so dirty?”

The Lord said, “Do you know that this is your heart?” I really did not know; I thought I was serving the Lord and that I would be clean. In fact, I was resisting the Lord. I asked, "When did I commit so many sins that I did not confess?" Then He revealed them one by one. He said “You need to confess your sin one by one, so that I may forgive your sins one by one."

Suddenly I saw a very clean white pot filled with blood. Jesus wore a white garment and held a brush like a paintbrush; He said to me, “Confess your sin one by one and I will wipe them away one by one.” I said, “Please give me a revelation of when I committed these sins?" He started to reveal my sins to me as if a movie was playing. I started to confess my sins immediately, and every time I did, he would dip the paintbrush into the pot of blood and brush the sin away.

After I confessed all of my sins one by one, the entire house was painted in blood. Surprisingly, the place suddenly become white and shine with bright light. At that moment, I knew I was clean. He said, "Do not set up church here, you need to stop the work of the church. I will not remember the works you have done in the past two years." I said, "If the Lord will not remember my works, then what am I doing here?”

I woke up suddenly.  I was sweating heavily and all my clothes were wet. Usually my family would get up early every morning to hold a bible study, except that day. It was expected that the Lord’s revelations I received every night would come true the next day, and I was afraid that this revelation would come true, that the Lord is coming back. I thought, “What am I supposed to do?” I was anxious and said, "How could you not wake up and study the Bible. Other days are okay, but not today! Don’t you know the Lord is returning?” My mother thought I was going crazy again, so she went to pray. I was trembling in fear that the Lord would return the next day. I decided to sit at home and repent, so I cancelled the entire Bible study and church meeting. The pastor asked me, "Why should we cancel the church meeting?" I said, "In many cases, after people believe in the Lord, their lives would change and become renewed. But I know now that God is dealing with me and my own heart. We have to cancel the meeting because God will not remember this meeting. We cannot continue.” Afterwards, just as the Bible says, preaching on the stage is not important. [Matt 23:3] The most important is how you manage your life-long relationship with God and with people after you leave the church grounds. I did not expect that God would deal with me regarding my home.

I said, "Lord, tell me what pleases you and I shall do it. What kind of work is the work of gold, silver, and precious stones, tell me please!" [1 Cor. 3:12] The Lord said, “Do you really want to do things that will satisfy me?" "Yes!" I replied. The Lord said, "Okay, go take good care of your children and husband and keep the house clean. That's what you should do." I really did not strongly believe that this was from God, because I was so busy with the church work that I separated my laundry from my husband’s. I was so busy that I had no time to wash socks for him because I had to take care my children and organize church meetings. I was so busy! My husband took care of his own laundry and I took care of mine. After returning from the day’s work, my husband would have to wash his own clothes and clean the house, which was often a mess.

I thought, "Oh! Lord, is this from you? I do not need to work for You, but instead I must do these things?" The Lord said, "Yes!" Soon enough, I began to do my husband’s laundry. When I did the laundry, the Lord continued to educate me. The Lord continued to touch my heart, and said: "Did you know, you washing just this one sock is the work of gold, silver, and precious stones, that I very commemorate!" That really surprised me. I said to my husband, "In the future, give me all your dirty socks; I will wash them for you!” My husband’s response looked shocked and afraid. He said to me, "Why have you changed so dramatically? You become so good all of a sudden." I said "Actually, I was enlightened by God. From now on, I will not allow you to wash any of the clothes.” Then, all the church gatherings were cancelled and I began to stay at home full time. I had never expected that God would turn my life around in this way; I received anointing from the cancellation of the Bible studies and church meetings and received the most of my anointing which was during that period of time.

This was apparently not enough; later on, God sent me to my mother-in-law’s house. I lived in Yongnian Handan, and my mother-in-law lived in a home located in Cangzhou, about 600 Km away from my home. Since they were nonbelievers, I received much persecution from her family. I remember taking the bus for a whole day in order to visit my mother-in-law. I arrived when they were just about to eat. I always taught my daughter to pray before each meal, so as a family, we always prayed before eating. At my in-laws’ house, after they had prepared the meal and called everyone to eat, my 2 year old daughter said, "Mom, lead us in a prayer." Her grandfather did not understand what my daughter was saying and asked "Liyan, what is she saying?" I replied, "Oh, she said we should pray or she will not eat." My father-in-law immediately said to my sister-in-law "Yunyun! Get the bowl of incense. Pour out the sand in the bowl, wash it and fill it with noodles for your sister-in-law."

Wow! They gave me this kind of hardships. Then he gave me a bowl of noodles and said, "Go ahead and eat from this bowl, which is the most blessed." They were clearly against me. Even though I just married into their family, they treated me this way. I asked the Lord, "Lord, what should I do now?" The Lord spoke to me "The idol is nothing, and so is the bowl that serves incense used to worship the idol." I said, "Praise the Lord, that’s nothing!"

My daughter kept on asking "Mom, pray!" I was thinking, pray for what? They just served me the bowl that they used to worship their idols. I said, "Ok! Let’s pray! Dear Lord Jesus, I give you thanks and praise." At the beginning I was afraid to pray, but the more they offended me, the more bravely I prayed. The words from the Bible came to my mind, "pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” [Matt 6:6] God spoke to me, “This is the work of gold, silver, and precious stones.” “Oh, really?” I said. My chopsticks were thrown to the floor by somebody, and this is the work of gold, silver, and precious stones? I said, "Praise the Lord." I quickly got up and wiped off my tears, and instantly the suffering and anger inside of me was gone; the Lord’s word really is my great comfort. So I begin to look for my chopsticks on the floor and I found them. After the meal I used to only washed dishes once, but this time I washed them 3 times, because the Lord told me this is the work of gold, silver, and precious stones; so I want to wash them very cleanly, and the more I washed them, the more joy I had inside of me.

Then, my husband unexpectedly came to visit here. He saw how I took care of their cooking and cleaning and that all my in-laws were doing nothing but playing mahjong and gambling. My husband could not stand what he saw, so he got angry at his family. Actually, enduring suffering has grown to be second nature for me, or even a habit, grown from the inside. I replied, "I'm fine!" He said, "Stop doing all the household chores." I said, "I was not doing it for them." He said, "Let's go!" I replied, "No, this is the work of gold and silver of precious stones in God’s eye." He did not understand what I was saying. He wanted me to leave with him, but I refused so he went out to drink wine.

Later he came back and argued with his parents. I said to myself, “Lord! The work of gold and silver will soon be over.” At first, we could have happily left this place together, but suddenly my husband decided to react this way. How can there be a good ending to this? When my husband finished arguing with his father, he said, “Liyan, follow me. We will no longer step into this house and I will no longer enter this room. If I ever step into this room I will no longer a member of this family." But the Lord told me, "No, you cannot go now." I told my husband and he was very angry at that answer and said, “Because of you, my parents condemn me.” I said, "The Lord led me to be a part of your family and I have to obey my Lord’s guidance, so you can leave." Then he said, "Okay, I will leave. You can stay here forever and don’t ever leave." I said, "I will leave whenever the Lord leads me to."

My husband walked away angrily and left me at my in-law’s house. I asked, "O Lord, when can I leave this house?" The Lord said, "Wait for awhile. It is not time yet." I said, "Ok!" By the time my parent-in-laws took off their clothes, I quickly ran to do their laundry for them. Suddenly, somehow, God opened my parent-in-laws’ hearts to realize that all their house works should not depend on me to do. They were thinking, “This woman married to our family from far away; if the laundries are done by our own daughter, since that is her duty as our daughter because we raised her and give birth to her.” Afterwards, my in-laws suddenly treated me very well, which surprised me.  When I was outside washing clothes, my mother-in-law came over and covered me with a layer of clothing, because it was getting cold. She said, “Liyan, put these clothes on." My father-in-law brought me a cup of warm tea and said, “Come, come, have a drink of warm tea." I was shocked because they usually mistreated me, and suddenly have become nice to me; this was hard to adjust to. I wondered why they suddenly started to treat me so nicely. My father-in-law even asked me how many blankets I needed at home. He said, “I'll prepare it for you. If you find anything in this house that you may need, just take it, we will be happy to give it to you." I said, "No, no, that is unnecessary. I do not need anything." Suddenly the Lord spoke to me, "It’s time, leave immediately by tomorrow." There was only a difference of one day before the Lord told me to leave; my husband had left the day before, and I left the following day.

The time of my departure was miraculous. The people of the entire village came out to say good-bye to me and treated me as though I was a rich celebrity that came to a humble village. Everyone said that this daughter-in-law has suffered so much. Within those 20 days, she worked outside and inside of the house. Suddenly the Lord said, "Woe to you, when all people speak well of you." I said , "Lord, I was not able to make it without Your words to strengthen me, it’s all because of Your constant help. I could not have done that to such a degree myself. They are praising You and I want to give all the glory to You."

The Bus Ride

My father-in-law watched us get on the bus, going back to ShiJiaZhuang. We were taking the long distance travel bus. The bus was filled with people, because it was time for students to return to school. During the time at my in-law’s home, my spirit has been lifted up, and there was an anointing with authority. While sitting on the bus, I saw that it was playing a talk show with foul language. I felt nauseated and stood up. But when I saw so many people, I sat back down, repeating this three times. I closed my eyes and I prayed, "Oh! Lord, I am timid. What should I do?" Suddenly the Lord gave me a vision of Jesus inside the temple, with righteous anger, twisting ropes into a whip to cleanse the temple. When I saw that scene, I could not stand it anymore. Suddenly I stood up and spoke to the bus driver: "Bus driver! Turn off the monitor! How can you play that kind of video in public like this? You can watch it at your own home, but is it appropriate to watch it here?"

The bus driver was dumfounded. The bus driver and the ticking lady looked at each other; the bus driver asked, "What happened to her?" the lady said, "I do not know." He said “Who are you?" I replied, "Let me tell you, you don’t need to ask me who am I. If you know who I am, I will smash your TV and your CD, and you will need to receive the fine!" I had no idea why I was so bold. The bus driver was dumfounded and said, "Okay! Okay! I’ll turn it off! I’ll turn it off." He immediately turned off the monitor and pushed the monitor aside. The ticketing lady sat down and did not move. There was extreme quietness on the bus; one could have heard a pin drop.  The bus arrived at Hengshui, a rest stop, to allow the passengers to go to bathroom. When people got off the bus, many of them looked toward me with smiles and nodded their head; I nodded back. It seemed like all of them agreed that it was inappropriate to play that kind of video, but no one dared to speak up, because the world and society has degraded to such a degree.

Later on my mother-in-law came to stay with us. I led her in a prayer to accept Jesus as her savior.  It was in July, and my sister-in-law in college had a very big debate against me. Three months later, she was in a deep depression, after her boyfriend broke up with her. Many times she tried to commit suicide but failed. She constantly argued with me on her beliefs. She knew that I was able to help her, but she was too embarrassed to ask.  Later, she called me and said, "Sister-in-law, come help me. You are the only one who can save me." I said, "I cannot save you, only God can save you. Do you want to pray with me to accept Jesus as your Savior?" She said, "Yes!" Then I prayed with her to accept Jesus Christ as her Savior. All these events showed me that after being married for so many years, fighting and arguing did not change anyone. But when I started to humble myself, God continuously pressed me down, so that one day He could lift me up.

The words I said on the bus were the result of my spiritual training at my mother-in-law’s house while I was washing dishes, clothes, and doing all the house work; all my learning happened during that time. I found out that what I am dealing and fighting with is not the flesh outside but the spirit inside. When you realize how God is the strength of your heart, that strength is very powerful. I had battled with many diseases for a long time, but once my inner being connected with the Lord, all my physical diseases were all gone. That’s how real the Lord is!!

I remembered in the past that whenever I was suffering, the Lord was with me, so while I was suffering I was still full of joy. Many church brothers and sisters thought I was crazy. Later, I thought there was some miscommunication regarding the saying: “suffer with joy”. The last two weeks of the month, when I was having communion along with the Lord, I summed up the word: “I don’t enjoy suffering, but I enjoy the Lord’s presence during my suffering.” I thought: when do I usually have the closest relationship with the Lord? The answer is when I am suffering, so I praise God for all my sufferings. I danced and played the tambourine at home while praising God.

One night, I had a great desire to have communion with the Lord with such an extent that I was wrestling with the Lord and would not let the Lord leave me. The next day when I woke up, I could not move my legs, as both tendons of the leg muscles went numb, which reminded me of Jacob’s story of wrestling with the Lord. The Lord let me come to realize that little by little. I have to praise God for all the sufferings. I said, "O’ Lord, I didn’t know you are full of wisdom.” When you praise God for all the sufferings you are experienced, it is of the wisdom from God, because God’s wisdom is always higher than our wisdom. He sent His only begotten son to die for us, and died on the cross; it is God’s wisdom and power! In our eyes, it is shameful and foolish, but in God’s eyes, it is the wisdom to save all of us.

The Train Ride

I remember that we once went on a trip to the Northeast of China with our kids. The bus came late; it was supposed arrive at eight, but it didn’t arrive until nine. My kids were tired and fell asleep. When we were boarding the bus, my kids suddenly woke up and cried, saying, “I want to sleep, I want to go home!” My husband challenged me and said, "There are no more seats left anyway, we might as well go home and sleep. Let’s leave." At that time, I really did not know what to do, I was clearly moved by God to go. I said "Lord, my life is all for you, I don’t care for my life, but I do not want my husband and children to have to suffer with me." Suddenly the Lord spoke to me "Do you know how I will reward them in the future? I want them to get the same rewards as yours." My husband then said, "Either we go home, or get the tickets." The Lord gave me the word so I said, "Let’s go get the tickets."

Finally, we squeezed ourselves into the train, but there were too many people, so we could only stand in the doorway. Suddenly the Lord said "Liyan, praise me. I want to hear you praise me!" I said "O Lord, do not joke with me. How can I praise you out loud at a time like this?" The Lord challenged me, "Go ahead and praise me. I want to hear." I said, “Lord, no." The Lord said, "Yes. Praise me!” I said, "Lord, even if I praise you, I tell you the truth, I am lying, it simply not from my heart." Then the Lord said, "Even it’s not from your heart, I really want to hear your praise, and I want to hear you praise Me in the time like this." I said, "Lord, even you allow me to lie to you, I’ve no praise inside of me." At this time the Lord spoke inside of me, "If you could not praise me in this situation, then you are no different from other people. How are you different from the non-believers? Those non-believers thank God for getting on the train, what’s the difference between you and them?"  "Yes, I am different from them...Oh Lord, I praise you!"

While trying to praise God, there were children crying, people jam-packed, an unpleasant smell filling everywhere, and hot sweat on my skin. I said: "Lord, I praise you that I can squeeze into this train." The moment I started praising God, my heart calmed down. I said, "Lord, I praise Your wisdom for we did not getting a seat. I believe you can give me the strength to stand to the destination and I believe you have great and mighty power." The more I praised God, the less the children were crying. The more I praised God the more joy sprung inside of me. Then God challenged me while I stood by the toilet door holding my child in my arms, and I started jumping and said, “Lord, I praise you. I thank you. I love you. Jehovah God is my strength. I love you. I praise you. I praise you." I praised continuously. There were all different kinds of people surrounding me on the train, but they could not hear what I was saying anyway. I just continued praising and praising.

After a while, my husband told me he wanted to upgrade the ticket to see if he can get a bunk bed seat. Honestly at that time, my heart didn’t care if we could get upgraded. “Oh Lord, You are with me, You will help me stand until we reach the destination. I have great faith inside of me, I am very grateful.” Many people stood in line to upgrade the ticket. Finally, my husband was able to get the last two tickets left. My husband said, "Praise the Lord!" I said, "The inner strength of thanksgiving for getting the bunk bed seat is great, but inner strength of thanksgiving is greater if I did not get one."

When other people’s spiritual life has not reached to the same level as you, you would find your spiritual life standing in the higher ground. When your spiritual life reaches a higher level, what would you do? You will see farther! All the sufferings in front of your eyes are a tiny trifle. Sufferings are spiritual food, they are life’s nutritional supplements. Come eat it, and the body will be healthy. So recently when I was at home, I felt leg and waist pains. Usually when there is pain, I would cast out the pain in the name of Jesus Christ, so I rebuked the back and waist pains to leave! “by the stripes of Jesus Christ, I am healed!” It’s very effective each time I make such declaration. But once I declared it nothing happened. “What happened?” I asked. I then went into deeper prayer, and I asked the Lord the question through the Holy Spirit. The Lord said, "Do you know how disobedient you are? Why do you have leg pain? You need to praise God! Why do you have waist pain? You need to praise God!" Then I understood that I wasn’t cooperating. I stood up, stretched out my legs and twisted my waist, because my entire body shall praise my Lord! I got up praised and praised, and I believed I danced beautifully to our Lord. I rolled on the floor; I locked the door, so my husband would not see me and think I was crazy. I often praised the Lord like a crazy person. When I was rolling on the floor praising God, I suddenly realized a truth, when the Lord said "Haven’t you seen actors on the stage use various method to perform to get everyone applause and encouragement?...Do you know when you praise Me, how much joy it brings Me?”

I often pray with a sister until midnight at a remote training hub far away from any city, a place where we can freely praise God. One night, we praised and prayed to the Lord until two o’clock in the morning, and that sister fell asleep. I kept on praying for another half hour when I saw a vision: I saw two angels, each holding a golden cup which was very large. The angels were catching things from us. At that time, I did not understand what the angels were catching, but I was very excited when I saw the angels, and I praised and prayed more vibrantly, unceasingly. I sang songs in spirit, and the angels kept on holding the golden cups and catching things…..I prayed for a long time, until my voice gradually reduced, when I saw something from the cup overflow, and I stopped my prayer. I was curious to see what was inside the golden cups; I thought it maybe tears, vapor, or something alike! But when I saw one cup, it was filled with fragrance of perfume, and the other angel’s cup was empty; it came empty and was left empty. I was puzzled. At dawn, I laid down and fell asleep for a while. I did not tell the other sister what had happened last night. She said, "I was too sleepy, but I could hear you praying so vibrant. Did you see a vision?"

Later on, as I knelt by my bed to ask the Lord, the Lord suddenly opened my mind and said, "You, a person of little understanding. There were two angels, one is yours, and the other one is your friend’s.” I asked the Lord, "Why is the angel holding a cup?" The Lord replied, "To catch your prayers." I then continued to ask, "Why has my cup overflowed, and why was the other one empty?" The Lord replied, "The other person fell asleep." I said, "That simple?" The Lord said, "Yes, the cup is filled with your prayers. The angel will lift it up and present it to God. God will use your prayers to make anointing and pour it down. Therefore, prayers can completely destroy the kingdom of the disease, even the kingdom of cancer, because anointing is made by God, and when it is poured down from God, it is very powerful, and can destroy hundreds of Satan’s kingdoms."

Once I knew that was how the anointing was produced, I liked overnight prayers more than before, and prayed non-stop. Sometimes when my flesh took over, the Lord will suddenly say, "Liyan get up." I would say, "I need a little more sleep." The Lord asked, "What can you produce out of sleep? Can you produce anointing out of sleep?" I said, "I cannot." Lord asked, "Can you produce faith out of sleep?" I said, "I cannot." The Lord asked, "Can you produce love out of sleep?" I said, "I cannot." The Lord said, "Where are all these things? It’s inside your prayer." I immediately understood, and I got up and knelt on the floor to pray, continuously pray, that very strong anointing will soon come down. I discovered that the anointing is very real.

Therefore, we should build an altar at home, in the last days, as God wants to give us big blessings. This is the revelation I received when I locked myself up for many days and prayed. The Lord said, "There is no more waiting, we are in the period of the Book of Joel." The Book of Joel says: And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; do not wait any longer, now is the time. Now, the Spirit of God is pouring, and the Lord said in these last days that He has a great blessing; the blessing is not of material things, but the revelation about the end time. For the believers, knowing the end time revelation will result in the awakening of the entire church. Once the revival comes, the kingdom of God will come soon afterwards. Through us, the Kingdom of God will be spread out.

Now we are entering into the last days. You should spend more time building your relationship with our Lord, your savior. The Lord desires to give these messages to everyone, and expects that everyone will wake up. This is also the message I received during last few days alone, having communion and praying in the closet. The Spirit of the Lord will pour upon all flesh, so that all of us would be able to keep up with the pace of the Holy Spirit. If you cannot keep up with the pace of the Holy Spirit, you will fall, and once you are down, the world's poverty, epidemics, disasters, and incurable diseases will increase more and more, you will suffer in the end time era, and it will be very difficult for you!